I need Shampoo.

     I tried to stick to my crunchy 'no poo' in my hair experiment, but after a week I was not a huge fan of how my hair was looking.  Within 2 washes with baking soda and vinegar my hair was getting obnoxiously dry. I tried spraying a very small amount of manoi oil into my hair, which left it feeling silky smooth all night.  But when I brushed it the next morning you would have thought I hadn't showered in days.  I could feel how greasy it was and when I brushed it in the mirror it would stay however I left it.  Gross.  I tried washing the oils out in a hurry before work and was still left with residue filled locks.  I was forced to wear my hair in two french braids tied into a knot in the back of my head for the day.  While I have always loved my manoi oil for anything from making my skin look great before wearing a dress, to treating my hair after being a bit hard on it some weeks, you NEED shampoo to wash that stuff out the first time.

     I noticed my color getting dull and redyed it.  Now I was truly hesitant after dying my hair to use only baking soda, so I went ahead and used my crap Aussie to rinse the color out.  My hair the next day was fantastic! During the next wash I went back to my homemade concoction.  My hair was flat and lifeless the next day with frizz at every brush stroke and my new color already looked dull.  I tried once more and that was the end of it.  This time I said eff it and used some hair product, paul mitchell shine serum.  Even that was not enough to save my now miserable hair.  My solution was to go out and find a better shampoo that I wouldn't feel as guilty about, but wouldn't have to look like a dirty hippy either.  Don't get me wrong, I love getting dirty, and adore most things 'hippy' but I do not want to look like a combination of the two.

     I read some reviews of products online and headed to the store.  I ended up settling on Organix hair products.  The bottles are made from recycled material, the ink on the labels is made from recycled material, the labels are even compost-able and they do no animal testing ( not like many other brands that just say the final product was not tested on animals.)  Not to mention they smell delicious!  I'm not sure what the effect on my color will be, time will tell.  But my hair this morning is behaving very well, grateful for something better.

   I do not pretend to know a damn thing about hair, and probably way less about hair products.  All I know is baking products have no place on my head.

Goodbye Sanity, hello wedding.

  Let me start by saying that I am generally a no frills type of girl, and certainly expected to be a no frills bride.  I didn't know know how to straighten my hair until 2 years ago, I have yet to figure out eye liner or buy a blowdryer, and I consider taking off my shoes and jumping through puddles to be a perfectly acceptable way to get into the house after work.  For my wedding I want simple, and rustic.  But I also do not want ordinary.  I don't like hotel receptions or dancing to the YMCA.

  I had gone dress shopping about 2 years ago, but then we found out DD was on the way and all wedding planning was put on hold.  When I had gone shopping before I had gone to 4 different stores,  tried on dozens of dresses, and had never fallen in love with any of them.  Heading out this time I was expecting to have the same trouble, and to end up settling on a dress.  When I tried on ONE dress and thought 'This is it!' I was shocked.

     But, like most girls, I didn't want to try on just one dress. Where is the fun in that? So I got myself in a jam and tried on a completely different dress and, uh-oh, fell in love with it. I

     left the store feeling frustrated and very unsure of myself.  So, like an obsessed maniac, I spent most of my night last night pouring over pictures and reviews of both dresses, begging my husband for his opinion on the dresses, and trying to picture my wedding.  By the end of the night my head hurt, and I still had no idea.

     This morning I woke up with a bit more clarity.  I realized that when I had sent the pictures to friends, or asked Johns opinion, I would argue a bit more against anyone who chose the second dress.  And I would even feel hurt that they hadn't loved the first dress as much as I did. The more I looked at pictures of real brides in both dresses the easier my decision became.  I loved the second dress oh-so-much in real life, but I worried that in pictures it would look like I had a comforter stapled to my waist.  It was beautiful fluffed out and styled while I stood poised in front of a mirror, but when I moved the beautiful details I adored so much on the skirt might get lost.  Sure enough, in almost every real-bride photo I saw I thought 'comforter.'  It looked great for snuggling up with, but maybe not dancing and getting married in.

     I also thought that as stunning and original as it looked in the bridal shop, in photo's it looks a lot like 80% of the other wedding photo's I've seen.  My good friend who had gone shopping with me said "I think everyone would be shocked to see you in that dress!"  And I liked that idea, until I realized the reason they would be shocked is because it's just not me.  The other dress, my first love, still looked amazing in personal photos

  Both are beautiful and both make wonderful choices.  But I want my wedding to be a party that goes all night, and I can't imagine partying in that super heavy second dress.  And when I think about which one I might miss on my wedding day, it's the vintage inspired gatsby dress.  It's everything I wanted for a reason. I wanted timeless and ornate.  Modern and stunning are wonderful qualities, but they're not what I look for anywhere else in my life, so I would feel slightly out of my own skin wearing a dress that embodied those things.

     Also, whenever I've looked at bridal jewelry or accessories, I've looked at vintage inspired pieces.  I have always been drawn to that style. I don't even know how I would begin to put pieces together with the second dress. It's just far enough outside my usual self that I would have to rely on others to help with all the 'decorating.'  But I want to feel like me and love every little piece of what I'm in, not just the dress.

That being said, I think I've made my choice, and I'm thrilled. I cannot wait to go order my dress this week!

Meal Planning: Fail

  Going with this whole 'self improvement' kick I've been on I decided to start meal planning, and cooking meals ahead of time.  Well, except for rice and other things that I don't think reheat nicely.  This way I could spend that half hour to an hour a night I usually spend cooking, working out or at least playing on the kinect.  What ended up happening was me making a GIANT mess, burning myself twice, only cooking 2 dinners, and spending 4 hours doing it.

     First off, I'm trying to remind myself that this was not 'ideal' conditions by any means.  We haven't been eating meat for the past few weeks because we've wont buy it from a grocery store any more and with all this fantastic weather we haven't been able to find our way to a good butcher.  We want to start buying animals from farms we can see with our own eyes, and who we know are being treated well and fed organic, good food, ie. no corn for cows.  That being said, my recipe choices have become limited.  So, I decided in all my gemini-inspired wisdom, that I was just going to pick 3 brand new recipes that I've never tried before, and cook them all at the same time.  Feel free to roll your eyes at me, I did it to myself.

     I also decided that since my husband was home for the day, it was the perfect time for me to strip ALL of DD's cloth diapers, wipes, and wet bags.  My logic was that with him home to distract her I could get more done.  You can feel the crescendo approaching can't you?

     Immediately I laid out all of my ingredients, pans, and necessary utensils on the kitchen table and quickly filled it up and became over whelmed.  So I went over the easiest recipe with DH, a burrito casserole, and asked if he would be able to make it without bothering me too much later in the week (he has volunteered to learn to cook, much to my delight!)  Everything for that recipe was removed and I felt slightly less stressed. 

     I gave DH directions on what to do with the washing that needed to be done, which ended up taking nearly as long as if I had just done it myself, and then began chopping and preparing all of the veggies.  I was beginning to feel confidence trickle in just as I turned around to find my daughter finger painting the floor with a box of baking soda (see shampoo post.)  My temper flared momentarily when I saw my husband on the computer and quickly turned to laughter when my daughter began rubbing the baking soda all over herself like it was body paint.  He retriever our little albino and swept the floor while I continued chopping.  Just as I began to warm up the leeks and fry the first batch of eggplant I heard "Do you have the baby?" I flung my head back and looked at the ceiling, knowing full well I did not want to turn around.  The 'oh shit...' from behind me was not confirmed my fears.  Sure enough there she was chewing through a third of my eggplant and spitting it back onto the floor or mushing it under her knee. The rest of the four hours was still a learning experience, but blissfully free of disruption.

      Another big mistake turned out to be trying to use 1 pan to cook a pretty involved moussaka recipe.  Cooking the eggplant, zucchini, and potatoes all separately, having to fill the pan 3 times each for the eggplant and potatoes was definitely my downfall in the time department.  At least now I know. I also realized that as my husbands comfort level in the kitchen increases, my apprehension about trusting him to make things that are more complex will ease and allow me to not do so much preparing.  My lessons learned are going to be only 1 new recipe at a time, and to be more prepared. 

   On a side note day two with my baking soda and vinegar washed hair went well.  It styled easily the next day and even seemed to frizz less.  I only shower every other day, so I was also happy to see my hair looking fresher on day 2 than usual.  I am slightly concerned that it feels a little dry however, so I will begin spraying some Monoi de Tahiti oil in my hair after my shower to see if that helps.

Love the skin You're IN

I love love loved this article I just found on the Peaceful Parenting site.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/08/lizzi-miller-beautiful-real-woman-on.html

The photo:

is what caught my attention.  This woman is beautiful.  But what makes her exquisite is how comfortable, confident, and happy she looks in her own skin.  It made me think about how many of women I know, many of whom I am good friends with, that have similar bodies.  And how many of them are uncomfortable in those bodies.  But, why?  There is nothing about this woman that looks 'wrong.'  Not a single thing I think she needs to work on.  So why do we feel like we have to kill ourselves to reach some ridiculous ideal?  Have you ever actually seen on of the lingerie models wearing normal, baggy, clothes?  They look sick, and they rarely glow like this beautiful model.

It made me feel okay about the little pouch I know I get when I sit down.  Seeing it on someone else made me realize it really doesn't look awful at all.  But we never get to see this in our culture, and so we are led to believe that it is ugly.  I truly believe if there were more women like this in magazines and on TV body shame would not be running rampant.  If we only see certain physical traits on ourselves we begin to think they are different and wrong.  Because we have been told for most, if not all, of our lives that our bodies are not acceptable, we hide them.  We wear tankinis, loose clothing, and briefers to cover up or distort what we really look like.  As a result the image of the 'imperfect' body is further hidden. 

As this model, Lizzi Miller, said "As I got older I realized that everyone's body is different and not everyone is skinny naturally--me included! I learned to love my body for how it is, every curve of it. I used to be so self-conscious in a bikini because my stomach wasn't perfectly defined. But everyone has different body shapes! And it's not all about the physical! If you walk on the beach in your bikini with confidence and you feel sexy, people will see you that way too."

So be confident and stop hiding.  There is beauty in every stretch mark that brought you your child, and every slightly saggy part that once grew to support a life.

What I also loved was that the poem I added a few posts back was at the beginning of this article. 

My goal is to raise my daughter appearing confident and happy in my skin, and to never give her a reason to think that appearances should make, or break, your mood.  Even if I'm not feeling a hundred percent confident that day, that is the image I want her to carry throughout her life.